30 October 2018
Dear Alcohol,
You have been part of my life since I was about 14 years old. I am now 43. I regret getting introduced to you at such a tender age. But, what is the point of regret?
We have had a good dalliance along the way. Exciting times. Crazy times. Fun times. Very risky times. As I got older, our relationship mellowed quite a lot. But, you were always my constant companion. Every now and again we had a bit of a wild time, just to make sure we still had it.
But, I’ve noticed the wear and tear that our relationship has brought on me. It is not as healthy as I would like. I was becoming more dependent on you. And, I felt that you were becoming more clingy. I sometimes wanted my space, but you didn’t want to leave me alone. That was becoming suffocating and disconcerting. I felt obligated to you. I didn’t want to leave you out. But, the older I get, I find I need more clarity in my life.
Our relationship was starting to get me down. It was taking up too much of my head space. And also, the effects of regular drinking were really not conducive to life with young children. I need to gather all the energy that I can. I realised that you were not going to help me achieve that.
And so, I say goodbye to you. That makes me feel sad. Because, I can remember your sparkles and twinkles and fun. But, there comes a time when one knows a choice needs to be made.
I choose to follow my intuition (finally). After having a trial separation from you recently, I feel lighter and clear-headed and I am more certain that this is the way forward.
Please allow me to be free of you.
Goodbye to you, alcohol.
Love,
Tess
