Dear Sauvignon Blanc,
On 20 May 2020 it will be 2 years since my last sip of you. And with all the positive changes experienced since our last meeting, there is literally no reason to have you back in my life. Yes, there have been those odd moments of nostalgia and the truth is I resisted writing my goodbye letter in the beginning because I wasn’t really planning to never see you again. My plan was to take some time out, cut down and moderate. I used hypnotherapy to lose the need for you. It was hugely successful and actually very liberating not feeling that neediness in our relationship. While studying hypnosis and experiencing the benefits first hand, I gained enormous respect for the power of the subconscious mind and how it literally runs (and can ruin) our lives. What happened next I didn’t anticipate i.e. a thorough mind opening at Janet’s workshop. It was there that I was convincingly motivated to do the 100 day challenge and my world started to change slowly but surely. It has been mostly surprisingly easy and interesting (although I definitely went through the Stages of Grief) and have been blown away by the unexpected positive impact your absence has had on every aspect of my life.
Past Regrets: Looking back, I wish I had managed to sort myself out a long time ago. It wasn’t through lack of trying either – studying psychology, various therapists and therapies, medication, meditation courses, workshops, marriage counselling, obsessive exercising etc etc. At no stage did any medical practitioner suggest a break from you and actually not a soul asked about my relationship with you. Well, there was my eccentric oldest sibling who stopped drinking many years back which just added to his “weirdness” :).,.. Sigh, I guess I should have taken more notice of his dire warnings. What I know now is that you, Ms Sauvignon, were directly and indirectly, responsible for many many missed opportunities, dysfunctional relationships, blurred memories, time and money wasted as well as stunted personal growth! Not to mention the physical damage to my brain, body and soul.There is no doubt that you exacerbated anxiety, PMS, feelings of worthlessness, insecurity and much more. I wonder how different my life would have been without your “help”..simply sober..,hmmm.
Today: I feel more together, completely comfortable in my skin and have a sense of peace and contentment I didn’t know was possible. Since that last sip there have been some personal challenges but each time I was amazed to observe that there was no urge or need to reach out for you. What has slowly dawned on me is that by turning my back on our toxic friendship, I have created a wonderful space in my being. It feels like I am finally starting to get it (the mystery of existence) and am experiencing a stability of mood that is quite a revelation. Life happens, my buttons get pushed, my children do their thing and I am calm. Having been at the mercy of my hormones my entire life I am surprised to observe that menopausal moodiness is so far pretty much a non issue. In amongst the ups and downs I know I will always be a work in progress but am happily feeling the feelings that you have numbed my entire life. I’m enjoying the process of waking up. I know that whatever each day brings, being sober makes coping, learning and growing that much easier and more meaningful. I’m astounded and excited at the same time by every newly discovered side-effect of sobriety..,
The end, goodbye!!
PS … #MY UNFORESEEN BENEFITS OF SOBRIETY
#More Time! #Clarity of mind-evenings and mornings #I feel clean!
#Increased patience and presence-much much better mom
#Astonishingly sleeping through the night #Better quality sleep so need less of it
#More Energy #Feel physically better #Brain working better
#Peace of mind driving anytime of day or night
#Saving Money #Using money for holidays
#Much nicer Sex #Increased pleasure generally
#Spreading good energy
#Friend, Boyfriend, Dad and now my Mum inspired to be sober #So impressed
#Much more productive/meaningful/healthy life
#More conscious #More easy going #Nicer person
# More authentic self #Healthier boundaries #Good example to children
#No more end of the day dash to Tops as willpower plummets #What a relief
#Extraordinary sense of freedom! #Love my life
#Forever grateful to Janet and WWW, Thank you!