Louise Rowlinson is approaching 4 years sober and is forever grateful for saying goodbye both in reality and in her goodbye letter to booze. Still blogging, still nursing, still living a happy life hangover free and if people want to read more find her at ahangoverfreelife.com
—
Dear Alcohol
You have been the one constant in my life. From my earliest memories you were always there, firstly in the life of my parents on a daily basis and once I looked old enough to get served in mine. You were a factor in the choices that I made and with the friends and partners that I chose. I have never known a time when you weren’t important to someone close to me or to me.
I always viewed you as a Jekyll and Hyde character, sometimes making those close to me more affectionate and then at other times causing anger and violence. I spent much of my childhood fearful of you and the effect and power that you seemed to have. Those involved with you seemed to prioritise you over everyone else. But you were who people I knew chose to help them in times of good and bad and so I learned the same message and the same way of being.
When I joined the dance with you, you appeared benign even helpful. You gave me confidence, made me bigger, louder and funnier than the person I felt I was. You were my side-kick in all my adventures whether here at home or overseas. You helped me forget difficult memories and emotions and smoothed over the rough edges in my life.
I partied with you for almost twenty years never questioning your influence, even though during those times I worked as a nurse on a ward where you had done serious damage to other people and they were dying because of you. They wanted to choose you over anything and everything else. But I still didn’t see it.
But then I wanted to have children and people were telling me that you were bad for me and so I scaled back our dalliance, joining you only for short but stupendously large blow outs. I resented that I couldn’t have you in my life as much as you had been in the past. We had to separate for two short periods while I cared for my unborn babies but I still stole the odd clandestine night, missing you badly.
Once the children arrived life with you became much more difficult and I had to make choices against you, limiting our time together or the intensity of our time together. This is when I began to realise that our relationship was problematic and was having a serious impact on my other now important relationships.
I began to bargain with you, set myself limits about how often and how long and I tried to stay away from you. Plus our time together had changed. Before it was mostly fun and I enjoyed our time together whereas now this seemed to have gone and had been replaced by something darker. I was more out of control in our time together and this scared me. You seemed to have taken the upper hand in the relationship and were more insistent and controlling.
I was also trying to give up other relationships that had served me well up until that point but that I could no longer ignore was damaging. But that relationship was also linked to my time with you and so when I stopped this relationship with nicotine I knew I had to stay away from you too, at least until I had got over that one and could spend time with you and not miss them.
You grew angry at my withdrawal and would harp incessantly in my ear until I would relent and come back to you but the next day I would hate you and hate myself for giving in. This pull and push has gone on for 5 years and now I am sick of you, sick of the way you make me feel and think about myself, sick of the stupid things I say and do when with you and I don’t enjoy your company any more.
So I have decided to say good bye. I have decided to try and live my life without you. You were furious when I made this decision and upped your rhetoric about how useless I was and how I would never survive a party or a difficult time without you. But I held steadfast and it has been over three months.
You were right, it was hard and at times still is, but I know I have made the right decision. I have experienced the joy of living without you and your voice has grown fainter and your power has lessened. Other people still think you are important and want to spend time with you and that is fine. This decision is about me and no one else and has been one of the hardest I have ever had to make but I feel stronger and more confident in myself and my life without you.
I have fond memories of you in the beginning but we can’t recreate those early days and I know that we never will. What was once benign is now very much malignant and I must move on. It is time to forge a new path without you.
Good-bye.
368 comments
tadalafil 10 mg
benicar 20mg
trazodone 10mg
ampicillin tablet
indocin 50 mg
where can i order prednisone 20mg
seroquel generic
toradol prescription
I very like this blog. Everything is cleared.
brand name cialis prices
amoxicillin online
buy kamagra
tadalafil tablets
lasix pills
synthroid medication
where to buy ventolin
cymbalta generic
neurontin 100 mg caps
baclofen 10 mg
buy celebrex
arimidex drug
buy celebrex
amoxil 250 mg
buy celebrex
proscar 5mg
proscar 1mg
10 mg baclofen
baclofen 20 mg pill
zofran tablets cost
triamterene hctz
amoxil medication
amoxil 250 mg tablets
antabuse generic
buy kamagra
buy flagyl
Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this website on a regular basis, this web
site is actually pleasant and the people are really sharing fastidious thoughts.
wellbutrin 2019
150 mg bupropion
Hi mates, its enormous piece of writing about tutoringand entirely defined, keep it up all the time.
buy hydroxychloroquine online
discount doxycycline
doxycycline over the counter
buy doxy 200
paxil 20
I like the helpful info you provide for your articles.
I will bookmark your blog and take a look at again right here regularly.
I am rather certain I will learn a lot of new stuff proper here!
Best of luck for the next!
generic tadalafil 20mg
propecia prescription nz
colchicine 0.6
Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation;
many of us have developed some nice procedures and we are looking to
trade strategies with other folks, why not shoot me an email if interested.
Thanks for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look complex to more added agreeable from you!
By the way, how can we communicate?
cephalexin antibiotics
In fact when someone doesn’t understand afterward its up to other users that they
will help, so here it happens.
estrace 0.01 cream
[url=https://accutanme.com/]where to buy accutane online[/url] [url=https://tretinoin365.com/]tretinoin 05[/url] [url=https://sildenafiltb.com/]sildenafil 100mg online india[/url] [url=https://chydroxychloroquine.com/]plaquenil 100[/url] [url=https://tadalafil2017.us.com/]canadian pharmacy online prescription tadalafil[/url]
buy bupropion online
The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a thirty
foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now
broken and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but
I had to share it with someone!
I’m really enjoying the theme/design of your website.
Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues?
A few of my blog audience have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks
great in Safari. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?
ciprofloxacin
propecia generic
online no prescription wellbutrin
over the counter diflucan pill
rx cost bupropion
buy singulair tablets
generic priligy
amitriptyline 25mg
zovirax where to buy
motrin coupon
flomax 15
malegra 100
motrin medicine
buy retin a
motilium 10 mg tablet
proscar for sale
zovirax cream generic
singulair tabs
where to buy azithromycin
buy hydroxychloroquine
where can i buy nexium 40 mg
proscar 5mg cost
azithromycin online
generic retin a from mexico
chloroquine aralen
chloroquine over the counter uk
levitra 20mg australia
celebrex cost
buy priligy online canada
buy accutane in mexico
buy isotretinoin
generic buspar
buy finpecia
price of ventolin
buy doxycycline
valtrex pills
priligy tablets
furosemide medication
buy chloroquine
kamagra 247
buy ventolin online
silagra online
silagra 100mg price
kamagra pill
buy buspar
sildenafil 100mg
orlistat xenical
buy 40 mg doxycycline
bupropion xl
celebrex 400
dapoxetine buy online
dapoxetine 60 mg canada
xenical medication
clonidine online pharmacy
silagra 100mg
furosemide price uk
wellbutrin sale usa
buy generic tadalafil 20 mg from india
buy erythromycin
buy amoxicillin
plaquenil singapore
vermox tablets uk
buy priligy online
kamagra buy
buy erythromycin
I blog frequently and I really thank you for your information. 강남오피
This great article has truly peaked my interest. I am going to take a note of your site and keep checking for new details about once per week. I subscribed to your RSS feed too.
wellbutrin bupropion
buy silagra
can i buy sildenafil online uk
can you buy doxycycline over the counter in mexico
singulair chewable tablets
buy sildenafil
buy hydroxychloroquine
clonidine tablet 0.1 mg
generic for singulair
buy erythromycin
chloroquine covid 19
levitra online
erythromycin online
buy vermox
furosemide 40 mg iv
india pharmacy tadalafil
buspar 30 mg daily
erythromycin tablet
purchase erythromycin without a prescription
amoxicillin online
weimerquin
buy sildenafil
clonidine 0.3
amitriptyline 180 tablets
accutane costs canada
[url=http://baclofen24.com/]baclofen tablets[/url]
[url=https://cymbaltaduloxetine.com/]buy duloxetine[/url] [url=https://levitra36.com/]levitra 20mg tablets[/url] [url=https://erythromycinz.com/]erythromycin online[/url] [url=https://silagra24.com/]silagra 25 mg price[/url]
celebrex online
generic levitra
1 Extensive ED 101 Brim Stiffness Pain. tadalafil tablets 20 mg cialis 10mg
buy xenical
amoxicillin 500mg capsules
accutane isotretinoin
singulair buy
doxy
furosemide 500 mg online
finpecia 1 mg
amoxicillin 500mg capsules
What’s up, I read your blogs regularly. Your writing style is awesome, keep doing what you’re doing!
Hello there, I found your web site via Google whilst searching for a
related matter, your site came up, it appears to be like great.
I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, just changed into alert to your weblog through Google, and located that it’s truly informative.
I am going to watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful if you proceed this in future.
Lots of people shall be benefited from your writing.
Cheers!
where can i buy ventolin online
silagra 100 for sale
[url=https://ventolinh.com/]ventolin online usa[/url] [url=https://singulair.us.org/]singulair 10 mg[/url] [url=https://amoxicillinz.com/]buy amoxicillin[/url] [url=https://isotretinoinacutane.com/]buy accutane[/url] [url=https://amitriptyline365.com/]elavil medication[/url] [url=https://wellbutrinbupropion.com/]how to get wellbutrin online[/url] [url=https://kamagratb.com/]kamagra online[/url]
furosemide cost in india
sildenafil 100mg
buy ciprofloxacin
buy ciprofloxacin
[url=http://celebrexcelecoxib.com/]celibrax[/url] [url=http://amitriptyline365.com/]buy amitriptyline online[/url] [url=http://tadalafilsale.com/]cost of tadalafil 10mg[/url] [url=http://doxycycline36.com/]doxycycline 200 mg daily[/url] [url=http://priligytab.com/]priligy buy online[/url] [url=http://ciprofloxacin24.com/]ciprofloxacin price canada[/url] [url=http://hydroxychloroquine.us.org/]hydroxychloroquine online[/url]
erythromycin price canada
[url=https://doxycycline36.com/]buy doxycycline[/url] [url=https://tadalafilsale.com/]online pharmacy india tadalafil[/url] [url=https://valtrex.us.org/]can you buy valtrex over the counter in usa[/url] [url=https://hydroxychloroquine.us.org/]hydroxychloroquine 900mg[/url] [url=https://priligytab.com/]priligy price[/url]
buspar 30 mg
buy singulair
vermox 500mg uk
buy ventolin
amitriptyline buy
buy silagra
clonidine drug
buy amoxicillin
buy furosemide
buy amoxicillin
vardenafil levitra
doxycycline cost
tadalafil tablets
priligy online india
valtrex prices generic
[url=https://erythromycinz.com/]erythromycin buy[/url] [url=https://chloroquine.us.com/]chloroquine covid19[/url] [url=https://sildenafil36.com/]sildenafil 100mg[/url] [url=https://buspar.us.com/]buspar 2.5 mg[/url]
[url=https://celebrexcelecoxib.com/]celebrex cost[/url] [url=https://vermox.us.org/]buy vermox[/url] [url=https://tadalafilsale.com/]tadalafil 20mg for sale[/url] [url=https://baclofen24.com/]10mg baclofen tablet[/url] [url=https://silagra24.com/]buy silagra[/url] [url=https://levitra36.com/]levitra 20[/url] [url=https://valtrex.us.org/]valtrex otc drug[/url] [url=https://doxycycline36.com/]doxycycline 40 mg price[/url] [url=https://kamagratb.com/]kamagra tablets[/url] [url=https://furosemidelasix.com/]can you buy furosemide otc[/url] [url=https://cymbaltaduloxetine.com/]buy cymbalta[/url] [url=https://sildenafil36.com/]sildenafil soft tabs[/url] [url=https://finpecia911.com/]buy finpecia[/url] [url=https://amoxicillinz.com/]buy amoxicillin from mexico[/url] [url=https://hydroxychloroquine.us.org/]buy hydroxychloroquine online[/url] [url=https://clonidinenorx.com/]buy clonidine[/url] [url=https://priligytab.com/]best priligy tablets[/url] [url=https://avanatop.com/]buy avana[/url] [url=https://buspar.us.com/]buy buspar[/url] [url=https://chloroquine.us.com/]buy chloroquine[/url]
finpecia 1mg
avana 31311
silagra tablets online
buy silagra online in india
celebrex tablets
chloroquine covid 19
finpecia online
buy bupropion
price of singulair 10 mg
ventolin discount coupon
wellbutrin order online
priligy tablets uk
where to buy clonidine
accutane isotretinoin
buy finpecia
dapoxetine 60 mg
cymbalta pill
priligy price
hydroxychloroquine for sale
over the counter valtrex
clonidine 2.0
generic accutane
where to buy erythromycin
buy chloroquine
buy finpecia
buy cymbalta
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your next write ups thanks once again.
buy amoxicillin
buy singulair
buy silagra
buy cymbalta
chloroquine sulphate
buy levitra
celebrex 60 mg
generic silagra
buy finpecia
buy valtrex online mexico
In some patients, laboratories may cross someone’s mind steroidal instruments as they are important-acting in-inflammatory patients. cheap viagra online canadian pharmacy sildenafil price
chloroquine over the counter uk
buspirone 10 mg
erythromycin tablets 250mg
amitriptyline 25 mg
buy elavil
duloxetine buy
buy chloroquine
discount levitra online
where can i buy zoloft online
where to buy prednisolone
can you buy generic cymbalta
cleocin lotion
proscar hair growth
I’m gone to inform my little brother, that he should also go to
see this weblog on regular basis to obtain updated from hottest reports.
ivermectin price usa
sumycin drug
avana tablet
buy cheap flagyl
diflucan online purchase
can you buy amoxicillin without a prescription
estrace price india
generic indocin
baclofen 60 mg
no prescription allopurinol
best price tadalafil 10mg
lopressor iv
vardenafil buy online
generic tadalafil without prescription
azithromycin zithromax
Initially patients, not all effective and often to therapy them and arrange buying cialis online to treat. online casinos best online casino
flagyl 400 mg tablet
avana pill
lasix 30 mg tablets
generic tadalafil pills
backtim antibioticsonline.com
cost of atenolol uk
lipitor rx cost
I needed to thank you for this wonderful read!!
I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you saved as a favorite to check out new things you post…
price of cleocin 100 mg
arimidex steroids
tretinoin australia prescription
where can you get antabuse
Interstitial for the duration of additional immunosuppressive therapies. hollywood casino free slots online
zithromax 250 capsules
phenergan 25 cost
I really love your website.. Very nice colors & theme.
Did you develop this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m
trying to create my own blog and would love to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named.
Thanks!
dapoxetine 30 mg online purchase in india
amoxil tablets price
cymbalta 10mg
generic 100 mg levitra
Major thanks for the blog.Thanks Again. Awesome.
tretinoin 0.1
price of singulair 10 mg
seroquel generic cost
lexapro capsule
furosemide 20 mg tab
I’ve needed with our CS a occasional observations to get. best online casino real money real casino online
strattera 18 mg cost
quineprox 60 mg
azithromycin 500 mg tablet buy online
baclofen 10 mg tablet brand name
I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I
never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me.
In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as
you did, the internet will be much more useful
than ever before.
lopressor 50 mg daily
lexapro cheapest price
establish absent from I am not alone. slot games online casino games
disulfiram cost uk
avana cream
avana 100 price
cost of ivermectin medicine
price of albendazole tablet in india
anafranil capsules
augmentin 93
finpecia online pharmacy
Detrimental the whole kit can develop with obtain veritable cialis online crop of the internet, the heart is necrotizing with discontinuation of the home enjoy demonstrated acutely done with in making the urine gram pigment online. casino world gambling casino
Really appreciate you sharing this article post. Really Great.
buy accutane online cheap canada
buy finpecia
albenza over the counter uk
dapoxetine generic in india
malegra 150
finasteride medicine
anafranil 10mg tablets
accutane in uk
price of ivermectin liquid
And orthostatic changes to these symptoms, there buy true cialis online a utilitarian pedigree that HIV wish also be administered to surgical procedures. casino games win real money casino slot games
seroquel no prescription
anafranil cap 25mg
I truly appreciate this article post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.
buy tetracycline online pharmacy
Are dislodged and it’s minutest to play down when I try to indoor something. online casino games online casino games
I really liked your post.Thanks Again. Really Great.
tadalafil 40 mg daily
estrace
arimidex pills for sale
sumycin 500 mg
Very neat article.Much thanks again. Keep writing.
Thank you ever so for you article post.Really thank you! Great.
wow, awesome article post. Keep writing.
albendazole drug cost
allopurinol 3
tadalafil generic canada
amoxicillin 750 us
Major thanks for the blog post.Thanks Again. Great.
Thank you ever so for you blog.Thanks Again. Really Cool.
gabapentin buy uk
plaquenil brand name cost
atenolol 50 mg tablet price
prazosin 2mg cost
prazosin tablets 0.5 mg
purchase glucophage online
atenolol generic price
cymbalta 6 mg
Im thankful for the article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
You can: Low your dogged outcome through your assiduous Registry a duration-friendly. buy cheap viagra viagra online usa
The wrist is saturated clothing obligated to be placed from diuretics and. cheapest generic viagra viagra pills
xenical otc australia
Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
silagra 100 price
singulair 10 mg price
cbd oil capsules: hemp oil cbd distillate
cbdoilforsalecoupon.com cbd brothers
Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website
before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
Anyhow, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking
and checking back often!
tadalafil otc canada
tetracycline 250 mg brand name
augmentin tablets
buy malegra fxt
Hey, thanks for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more.
avana 56
cost of brand name neurontin
robaxin 550
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a
comment is added I get four emails with the same comment.
Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
Thanks a lot!
Valuable info. Lucky me I found your site by chance, and I am stunned why this coincidence did not took
place in advance! I bookmarked it.
vermox tablets buy online
gabapentin 522
tetracycline 500mg cost
As an table of contents, you have to id a migraine of intoxication seizures since not all patients are found. female viagra generic viagra 100mg
ventolin online united states
[2 – Upstairs the brutality, Kenobi and Cody irradiated their men. sildenafil price online viagra
organic cbd oil: cbd oil cannabidiol for pain cbd products for pain
cbdoilforsalecoupon.com cbd infused coffee
singulair 10 mg tablets
cleocin 100 mg